The children who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways” We are social animals, for us it is all about relationships. For some of the children we support, who may be neurodivergent, certain relationships can be overwhelming and certain situations can trigger significant responses. These children may need to seek the security of control as they navigate a neurotypical world. We all seek control of our environments and relationships in different ways at different times, using various methods of communication through our behaviour. At times the communication shared in relationships can be misunderstood. As adults, we can interpret these behaviours as simply being ‘challenging’. As professionals that support children whose communication is often misinterpreted, we should look towards the possible functions of these behaviours to decipher the intended communication, and in doing so respond appropriately. Through relationships, behaviours can change.